واکاوی عوامل هیجانی و شناختی مؤثر بر رفتارهای کنترل‌گرانه در روابط عاشقانه

کیان کریمیان

doi:10.61838/894135

Authors

Kian Karimian Department of Health Psychology, Ferdowsi University of Mashhad, Mashhad, Iran

DOI:

https://doi.org/10.61838/894135

Keywords:

Controlling behavior, romantic relationships, insecure attachment, cognitive jealousy, emotion regulation, thematic analysis

Abstract

This study aimed to explore the emotional and cognitive factors contributing to controlling behaviors in romantic relationships. This qualitative study was conducted using thematic analysis. Participants included 18 women and men aged 22 to 38 years living in Tehran who had experienced controlling behaviors either as the controlling partner or as the recipient of control in romantic relationships. Purposeful sampling was used and continued until theoretical saturation was achieved. Data were collected through individual semi-structured interviews. Each interview lasted between 45 and 75 minutes and was audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, and anonymized after obtaining informed consent. Data analysis was performed using NVivo software and followed the main phases of thematic analysis, including familiarization with data, initial coding, searching for themes, reviewing themes, defining and naming themes, and producing the final report. The analysis yielded four main categories: attachment insecurity and fear of abandonment, cognitive jealousy and threat-oriented interpretation, difficulties in emotion regulation and ambiguity tolerance, and possessive beliefs about love and intimacy. Participants reported behaviors such as checking the partner’s phone, demanding constant updates, restricting social interactions, heightened sensitivity to delayed responses, and suspicious interpretations of the partner’s autonomy. The findings indicated that controlling behavior usually develops gradually through a recurring cycle of anxiety, suspicion, monitoring, temporary reassurance, and renewed insecurity. The results suggest that controlling behaviors in romantic relationships emerge from the interaction of threat-based emotions, insecure cognitive schemas, anxious attachment patterns, and culturally shaped beliefs about ownership, loyalty, and commitment. Relationship counseling and couple-based interventions should therefore go beyond communication training and address emotion regulation, cognitive restructuring, healthy boundaries, relational literacy, and the differentiation between care and control.

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